Every day, duty seems to weigh heavy on my soul. Every day, I wonder if my self-inflicted burdens of my duty to my family, my job (and team), my patients, my friends, strangers and lastly, myself will be too much for my soul. I regularly tell myself and others that I will do many things out of "duty", but I will never "sell my soul". Maybe I should be asking myself what I mean by that? What would "selling my soul" look like? How will I know when I have done this? If I don't know the answers to those questions, then how can I say I haven't already done it?

The prompt asked about a moment, not about my life. A moment was recently reflecting on my life and my parents being older than most at my age (31). My duty to my family and having children, or a grandchild for my mom. I know how much she wants this, yet I resent her for convincing my to have an abortion when I was 21 (and married). She told me I would not be successful or have a career if I had a baby that young. So I didn't. And now I have a successful career and (some days) it feels like nothing else. And I want to tell her it's because of her. And I want to tell slap myself for unconsciously, almost always, listening to my mom. I am not sure I have grown out of that, even at 31 years old. I worry what will happen if do. I worry what will happen to my soul if I don't.