The summer before high school, I was spending the night at a friend's house. This friend is someone I grew up playing soccer with. She had an older brother who was in high school (a junior, so 17). He had friend's over this night and they played poker in the backyard. They also drank. I was excited because I grew up watching my parents play poker, and learned to play, myself. I was more interested in boys than in middle school and on of my friend's brother's noticed me that night. He came up and talked to me, he was also drunk. I felt noticed and knew I liked him. He and I talked online for the rest of the summer. We met up a week before the first week of school and I lost my virginity. He had asked me if I'd ever been with someone and I said no. He told me that from a practical perspective, I would be better off to "get it out of the way" and not put so much importance on "virginity". He told me he would teach me and I trusted him. He was older and more experienced, he was someone I knew and what he said made sense. We had did it in the back of his mom's jeep and I bled a little. He also seemed concerned after but wouldn't tell me why. He dropped me back off at home. The next day he told me he thought the condom broke and we went to planned parenthood. I told a friend about it because I was scared. The first week of school he spread rumors that I was a "slut" and "bled all over his mom's car". I felt shame. It's been 18 years and I still think about that moment, how it shaped my adolescence and my feelings toward my sexuality.